Well, this is my first ever blog, and I've never really blogged before so... whoever reads this, bare with me. n n;

Today, I felt like after two years, I've had a real epiphany. It was after I woke up, brushed my teeth and plopped down on my computer, that I simplemindedly found myself looking through my friend Christian's Facebook. It was then when my thoughts traced back to her.

Those were the golden days of my life, being with her and Christian. They were the only two people I ever needed in life, but our trio broke apart when she left. I know it may sound selfish, but a part of me feels incomplete without her by my side, so I would do anything and give anything to have her back. Christian has managed to stay by my side, especially after the changes I went through after she left.

Deep down inside, I know that all of the short relationships I've been in since we broke up meant nothing to me, because I really just want to be with her. I hate that I seem overly obsessive, stubborn, and borderline desperate for her affection, because obviously I wasn't good enough to keep her then, so things wouldn't change much now.

After her breaking up with me, I buried myself in creating graphical splendors, to get my mind off of her. Funny, how that didn't work out at all. A vast majority of them are green, which is her favorite color. A vast majority of them feature yellow streaks, which is her hair color. And a vast majority has no real feel to it, and can be taken in many ways, is which is how I felt for her.

I guess by holding onto her, I'm just being an immature sixteen year old brat which people often look at as 'unwise' and 'stupid' for holding onto feelings I had no business experiencing in the first place. My parents say I'm too young to undergo love, but with her, I know that's what it was. Without a doubt in my mind, that's when I felt the happiest, and that's when I was in love. So... over a period of time I guess I'll just share these 'graphical splendors' of mine. Hopefully people'll accept 'em and like them. If not, there's always room for improvement.

- Chris [Raven]